80 tokes – the BEST smoking board game in the world TWO.
‘We’ve got the board and the pieces but how does the game actually work?’ ‘Give it 5 minutes and you’ll get the hang of it’ said Dave Robitt, ‘it’s so easy to play even you on acid with a blind fold on would get it’ And with that we were off………………..
‘Make sure you SHUFFLE the wheezy chest cards Burt, so that we get to collect the whole range of ingredients. We’ll need a paper, baccy, a match and some weed to get a spliff together and that will take a bit of time……..’said Dave.
Die were thrown, moves made, questions asked and chance card actions taken, and within half an hour we were killing oursevles laughing.
‘On my hairy hat’ said Fred Splutternuts as another group smoke came round.
‘Hold that drag and keep smoking’ said Auntie ‘not sure about Auntie Bernard’ Bernard. ‘this is turning out ot be the best board game I’ve ever played, and I was brought up in a house with no shortage of board games. Now pass that bloody spliff and listen to this question, which is for a paper Jimmy Flopnob. Which game starts with a squidge off?
‘I’ve no idea Auntie’ said Jimmy, giggling merrily and blowing a smoke ring through his arse.
‘So you’ll need to hear the multiple choice options eh Jimmy, and here they are. A. Cluedo, B. Table Tennis, C. Soggy Biscuit or D. Tiddlywinks?’
‘I’ve still no idea’ said Jimmy once again, ‘but I’m pretty sure it’s not Cluedo or Soggy Biscuit. I’ll go for table tennis!’
”Well Jimmy, all that smoking seems to have altered your brain a bit! The answer is Tiddlywinks, as I’m sure the rest of you knew?’ said Auntie with a happy smirk and a long drag on the spliff.
‘Gordon Bennet’ said Gordon once again, ‘I’m pretty mashed’.
‘Mr Bennet, please find something else to amuse us with’ said J Christ, ‘As we’ve got that one now.
A few more rolls, and a lot more rolling, and we were flying both around the board and around the ceiling. Another group smoke followed and everything was good.
‘Move back to the last player is what this card says’ said Freebase McDivot reading one of the chance cards. ‘And that means I say farewell to Australia and hello to Brazil and Mr Pipnips. I’ll have a smoke to lessen the blow’.
‘Welcome Freebase, it’s nice back here’ said Mr Pipnips, ‘We’ll have to throw some big numbers to get anywhere near Greenland’.
‘And what the fuck is happening to Dave?’ asked Freebase looking over to Dave who was now happily doing his Blackadder impression.
‘Oh that’s his party piece and once he’s stoned he can’t resist it’ said Flowerbum.
‘So I’m stoned, happy, interested and giggly’ said Flowerbum’ and I’m no nearer Greenland than I was an hour ago. At this rate I’ll be battered by dawn’.
‘If Dawn is up for some battering put my name down!’ said Dave, rolling a seven and landing on Saudi. ‘On fuck, there goes my stash so I propose another team smoke so I may get over my disaster’.
On that the whole crew lugged on an especially well rolled joint and the action continued.
‘Does anyone know how the game actually finishes?’ asked Flowerbum, ‘ because I don’t want it to end………………..’