Mashed Crab brings you the news – who knew NINE?

Mashed Crab brings you the news – who knew NINE? Or why does the Daily Mail, why?

So Mashed Crab would like to explore some of the ‘issues’ that constantly exercise the tiny brains that belong to Daily Mail readers. Issues that appear to be news¬†but are actually moans, complaints and often outright nasty or racist views mocked up as news.¬†Here we dive in.

So let’s start with one of the big ones! The Daily Mail readership love nothing more than banging on about benefit scroungers. Aided by the right wing Bullingdon Club London branch, the government of the UK, the DM readers really get worked up when they hear about other people (always ‘other’ people, never them, for they are fucking perfect and shit petals don’t you know?) who don’t work yet claim money in benefits, live in a state provided houses and scrounge, scrounge, scrounge. Well Mashed Crab has looked into this and has found an example to illustrate their point.

Here we have a typical scrounging family…….


Not one of these people is known to work and each lives on taxpayer money in houses provided for free. What is more Mashed Crab has found that many of these people hold very disturbing views……..


Have no idea how to conduct themselves in public……


Indulge in bestiality whenever given the chance……….


Have been happily in breeding for centuries………..


And mix with questionable friends………….


So it does appear that the DM lot might have a point in keeping this as news as long as families like this continue to get away with scrounging. But what to do about the problem? Should we stop their benefits? Should we force them to move to much smaller palaces as they have many more bedrooms than they need? Answers on a postcard please Crab fans……




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