Mashed Crab brings you the news – who knew SIX?

Mashed Crab brings you the news – who knew SIX? Or how stooooopid are you fucking humans?

Mashed Crab brings you the news - who knew SIX?

Why are you bloody humans so far up your own arse? How stupid is it possible to be? And how weird your odd perspective and the things that wind you up? Live life where staying alive is your main focus and most of the shit you call ‘issues’ would simply fall away.

Mashed Crab would like to bring you some more news, news that you lot have bothered to get bothered about.

Mashed Crab brings you the news - who knew SIX?5x385

“Parents outraged as Toys R Us seels crystal meth Breaking Bad Dolls” screamed the headline in the Torygraph. The story continued

“American toy shop Toys “R” Us has been criticised by parents for selling a range of drug dealer dolls based on the television series Breaking Bad.

One of the six-inch figures, which sell for $17.99 (£11.16), even portrays a dealer clutching a gun, with a detachable bag of cash and blue rocks of the drug crystal meth.

Others are dressed in Hazmat protective suits, with a description reading: “as [the] Breaking Bad action figure stares at you from inside his collector friendly clamshell package, he dares you to make your move.”

Mother Susan Schrivjer, from Fort Myers, Florida, has now launched an online petition urging Toys “R” Us to remove the dolls from its shelves.

The petition says: “Toys “R” Us is well known around the world for their vast selection of toys for children of all ages. However their decision to sell a Breaking Bad doll, complete with a detachable sack of cash and a bag of meth, alongside children’s toys is a dangerous deviation from their family friendly values.

AT THE SAME TIME………..

Mashed Crab brings you the news - who knew SIX?

Children are taught to shoot automatic weapons THAT KILL! Mashed Crab says ‘stoooopid people’.

In other news…………………

kkju

Cannabis-eating sheep munch through £4,000 in plants dumped in bag near farm

Cannabis is known to leave its smokers feeling woolly-headed, but it seemed to have little effect on a flock of sheep who chomped their way through thousands of pounds worth of the drug. The hungry hash-eaters came across seven black bags containing the class B banned substance that had been dumped at the edge of their farm in Merstham, Surrey, and started scoffing.

The fly-tipped plants, each about three-foot tall, had an estimated street value of £4,000 – police have just revealed.

Fanny’s Farm shop manager Nellie Budd told the Surrey Mirror: “My sheep weren’t quite on their backs with legs in the air but they probably had the munchies. ”They haven’t had any other side effects but I’ll tell you about the meat next week.“

Recalling the incident, on Thursday, September 28, she said: ”My sheep being inquisitive had an interesting feast on it.

Det Con David Fair told the newspaper the dumping of the illegal plants had been “extremely irresponsible” and said police were “doing all we can” to find those responsible.

Now you probably don’t need me to point out this but what on earth are you human doing wasting good gear on a bunch of sheep? Weed is holy and we like the HOLYWEED so please don’t feed it to the sheep. This is especially important as the bloody sheep have eaten all my munchies!

I’ll bring you more when the moon turns green………..

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