No more Mr Nice Crab, it’s time to fuck the tories……..

No more Mr Nice Crab, it’s time to fuck the tories…… they’ve been fucking you (unless you’re a chinless twat, in which case they’ve probably been blowing you).


Just a quick observation and reminder from your friendly neighbourhood Mashed Crab.

No more poo

With the Bullingdon tories in power the UK has stepped back in time. We’ve returned to an age where the achievements of your ancestors is key to your own place here. If daddy or grand papa had the cash to send you to the right school then your own ability or intellect is virtually irrelevant. Your passport to comfort and privilege was sorted at birth and the fact you turned out to be an arrogant and thick twat doesn’t matter as your alma mater will see you through.


Now this is NOT about your politics as that is as personal to you as your choice of music (unless you really think Phil Collins is cool in which case grab your copy of the Daily Mail and get wanking to the beat with a picture of Michael Gove). It is about the way the tories are committed to fucking you (dry, without lube and with a brush up your arse) regardless of your politics.

Ever question why it is that the tories cut billions from the care of the sick, the poor and the disabled under the guise of reducing the deficit yet can still afford huge tax cuts for the wealthy and do nothing to close tax havens or chase corporates for tax? It’s because the nasty party is back and they have only just got started. On the one side we have…………

No more Mr Nice Crab, it's time to fuck the tories........

And on the other…………

No more Mr Nice Crab, it's time to fuck the tories........

Ever question why it is that Cameron, the tories top boy, says he’ll keep funding the NHS? It’s because he needs to keep the money flowing whilst the NHS is sold off. He has many friends gorging on the health service who need to keep gorging so he needs to keep YOUR money flowing into their accounts. And the vast majority of this cash flows away in dollars to billionaires in America……….fucking perverse and it’s YOUR money that’s gone.

No mor

So forget politics for now and have a look at what’s being done. If they continue as they are then the first question your doctor will ask you when your sick won’t be ‘so what’s wrong with you today’, it’ll be ‘where’s your fucking wallet poor boy because if you can’t pay fuck off’.

On a lighter note I would like to say that here in the ocean we’ve just scored an ounce of pollem so we’re Mashed as a Lobster……………

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