It’s the Oscars! Mashed Crab has some predictions!

It’s the Oscars! Mashed Crab has some predictions! Or yawn, yawn and more on the self satisfied cunt community…..

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Mashed Crab is delighted to add his own contribution to the fifty billion other comments (which are mostly fawning and arse licking) to this evenings Oscars ceremony. As the picture above demonstrates this is yet another chance for the self satisfied cunts community to come together and celebrate how self centred and one dimensional they all are.

It's the Oscars! Mashed Crab has some predictions!

And Mashed Crab promises he won’t mention politics for once.

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Me and my trusted tripping cat ‘Yestheyarereallyselfsatisfiedaren’they’ have gazed into the crystal ball of the future prediction and have come up with the list of winners.

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So here we go……………’and the winner of the ‘Best Bloke in a Film’ goes to………wait for it, wait for it………………a man who is quite good at pretending to be someone else, who is also quite good at repeating words that he’s been asked to repeat, and was in a film that asked him to remember some words and repeat them while all the time pretending he’s someone else’. And for doing that, in addition to getting a ton of cash, he gets an elongated and gold butt plug…

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‘and the winner of the ‘Best Woman in a Film’ goes to………wait for it, wait for it………………a woman who is quite good at pretending to be someone else, who is also quite good at repeating words that she’s been asked to repeat, and was in a film that asked her to remember some words and repeat them while all the time pretending she’s someone else’. And for doing that, in addition to getting a ton of cash, she gets an elongated and gold butt plug…

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As Mashed Crab starts to lose the will to live the Oscars roles on, and on, and on……………

‘and the winner of the ‘Best Woman who wasn’t the main person in the film but someone else in a Film’ goes to………wait for it, wait for it………………a woman who is quite good at pretending to be someone else, who is also quite good at repeating words that she’s been asked to repeat, and was in a film that asked her to remember some words and repeat them while all the time pretending she’s someone else’. And for doing that, in addition to getting a ton of cash, she gets an elongated and gold butt plug…

Keep it real Crab fans, ‘coz this aint………..

 

 

 

 

 

One comment on “It’s the Oscars! Mashed Crab has some predictions!
  1. Do I look fat in that?

    I swear the cat is staring at my growler.

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